Zoolander 2: 5 things to love about a movie you won’t

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT

In the early scenes of Zoolander 2, Hansel (Owen Wilson) wears an ornate gold eye mask to conceal the part of his face that was disfigured when the shoddily built Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good collapsed on him. When Hansel reluctantly reveals the scarring, Zoolander (Ben Stiller) recoils in horror, begging his friend to put the mask back on. The joke, of course, is that the mark is imperceptibly small.

Consider this a metaphor. Like Hansel’s scar, Zoolander 2, with its endless social media coups, celebrity endorsements and plot revelations, was made to seem much larger than it actually is. In the spirit of celebrating the parts over the whole, here are five things to love about a movie you may not even like:

The Hype: Taking a page from the very industry it lampoons, Zoolander 2 served up a feast of social media treats on Snapchat and Instagram in the weeks and months leading up to the film’s premier. A surprise appearance at Paris Fashion Week last March where Zoolander and Hansel ‘walked’ at Valentino was bested only by Stiller’s appearance on the cover of February Vogue.

The Biebs: It took a lot of ‘ballsteins’ to kill off a draw as big as Justin Bieber, In the first five minutes of the film, no less. Releasing the full clip of the death scene 10 weeks before the movie came out was also pretty brazen. What could top the Biebs, Instagramming to the bitter end?

The Anti-Fashion Designer: Leave it to four male scriptwriters to bring us nihilistic hipster designer Don Atari, the ‘anti-fashion fashion guy’. Played with originality and intention by Kyle Mooney, Don Atari speaks only in pop culture mash ups, contradictions and putdowns. Even his arm tattoo - Colonel Sanders dressed as a Jedi, asking Where’s the beef? - was created by a loser who gives the best stupid tattoos ever.

The T-shirt: In need of some backup, Zoolander announces that he’s calling his friend, Billy Zane. A few minutes later, Don Atari appears, wearing a t-shirt that says I’ll call Billy Zane with a stylized image of Zoolander talking into his tiny clamshell phone. Hilarious nod to fast fashion. Bonus points for the meme. If this t-shirt becomes available in real life, everyone should buy one.

The best thing about Zoolander 2?

It makes you appreciate how funny and under-rated the original was. No walk-off required.